The Definitive Best Man Speaking Guide
It is widely known that over half of all communication is non-verbal. It is often said colloquially that it’s not what you say but how you say it that has the greatest ever lasting impact on people.
When you speak in public, your listeners will judge you and your message more based on what they actually see than what they’ve heard. That’s why it is important that to practice your non verbal communication just as much as your spoken words. It will ultimately allow you to get your message across effectively to your audience.
Introduction
When you’re speaking, you send two kinds of messages to your audience. While you’re voice transmits a variable message, most of your speech is being told visually by your appearance, your manner, and your physical behavior.
Studies show that more than half of all human communication takes place nonverbally. Your audience will judge you more on what you appear to be doing than what you are saying.
In public speaking your body can be used as an effective tool for adding emphasis and clarity to your words. It’s also your most powerful instrument for convincing your audience of your sincerity and enthusiasm. Sometimes when you are speaking, your physical actions can actually distract or suggest meanings that don’t agree with what your verbal messages saying.
Therefore in this case your body will defeat your words. Public speaking and formal occasions like weddings can be particularly difficult as your audience has an expectation on your speech and your body gestures to be sincere, heartfelt, and entertaining. Therefore you have an obligation to understand how your body speaks as you cannot stop sending your audience nonverbal messages but you must learn how to manage and control them in order to speak effectively.
Here, you’ll learn how are non verbal messages effect an audience, what kind of information they transmit, and how all your nervousness as can be alleviated by purposeful and physical actions, and how are you make your body speak as our clearly as your words.
Actions Speak Louder than Words
Your goal in public speaking is to communicate. To be an effective speaker you must project earnestness and enthusiasm, and sincerity by making your manner and actions affirm what you say. If they don’t, the results can be
disastrous. Ralph Waldo Emerson once said.
“What you are speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.”
When you speak, if your audience aren’t convinced of your earnestness and sincerity, they are most unlikely to accept your oral communication. Therefore, your actions certainly do speak louder than your spoken words. You will be clearly understood by your audience when your spoken language and your body language are in sync with each other.
When you speak make sure you follow the following points:
You are Sincere,
You welcome the opportunity to speak
You speak from the heart
Your sincerity is best conveyed by your actions following your words. Make sure when you practice that your words and your actions are in sync and they confirm what you are saying. Using your voice to modulate what you are
saying assists with your sincerity also.
Make eye contact with your audience, and ALWAYS MAKE SURE that when you are talking about someone in your speech, you address them directly, and talk directly to them as though you are speaking directly with them! Then include the rest of the audience with a pull away line.
Eg.
“John, you are my oldest dearest friend” (looking directly at John), “And it’s quite clear that you are truly the best man in the room” (panning the room at the rest of the audience).
Welcoming the opportunity to speak might at first feel like it will never happen to you. However, as your confidence with your speech increases, so will the natural body language that follows your words, and so you will begin to
welcome the opportunity to speak.
Remember you have been asked to be the best man for a good reason… the groom would not have asked you to be the best man if you weren’t the right person to give a few heart felt words to him and his bride on the biggest day of
their lives.
Believing in what you say should go without saying. It is all about being sincere. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t fabricate stories to suit the situation and to make for a better speech, but you should always make sure that it is
obvious that your story is fabricated in some way… To do this effectively, once again you should use suggestive body language and voice modulation. Your words should follow your whole being that you actual care dearly for the bride and groom. Do this in your toast for the best results. Make your toast as heartfelt as possible. There’s many ways to toast the bride and groom, but as best man, you should make a great effort to make this the toast of the night,
as it is usually the very last toast to the bride and groom of the night. Try and have two or three toasts all pre-prepared and memorized as it is nice to finish with an original toast that hasn’t been used in previous speeches.
Confidence comes from knowing that you did your best to deliver the best possible speech that you can deliver. This is a truly successful speech. We all have different natural abilities and affinities to public speaking. Ass long as you did your best, you will be confident in your performance and it will show when you deliver it.
Research your subjects, and follow a proper speech structure, memorize your opening and memorize a few toasts to the bride and groom, practice your speech to a friend or wife, get their feedback, refine your speech and practice again and again until the speech comes as second nature to you, and you will be confident…
Many years ago a prolific public speaker told me;
“for every minute of speaking you should spend 1 hour in preparing for it…”
That means a ten minute speech requires at least 10 hours of preparation. If you do this, you will have all the confidence you need to deliver a great speech. Turn the Page to Part 2 >>