A Good Structure for speaking at a wedding
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The structure of your speech is pretty simple if done right, and if done wrong your speech can become a complete mess.
A good speech starts at the beginning, has a middle and an end. In public speaking arenas we call this the “Opening” the “Body” and the “Conclusion”. We’ll be using these words to describe the different parts of the speech from here.
But if it was all that simple then we’d all be expert public speakers. As well as having the structure, you need the words, and you need to learn how to say it too… which you can learn from studying our other publications from the members download area of our web site at www.classicspeeches.com
Now, the organization of a speech is of critical importance to the overall impact of the speech. In the case of a best man speech, this formula is exactly the same. Good speech organization is essential if the audience is to follow your speech. You must take some time to put your ideas of your speech down on paper before you start, in an orderly manner if at all possible. Remember in a five to seven minute speech you only have enough time to cover two or three points MAXIMUM! So please don’t try to write a whole life story but keep your points to just a few, and remember to include some points of relevance about the bride if at all possible too!
Your basic structure for your speech is as follows:
1. Your Opening remarks should capture the audiences attention
2. Your body of your speech should support your opening remarks
3. The conclusion should reinforce the opening and your body in a memorable heart felt way.
. Remember, that although you will have a relationship with the Groom, and the Grooms party at the wedding, the Bride is now an integral part of the occasion, a very important part that should be referenced somewhere in the opening remarks of your speech. It is absolutely necessary to do this, as the bride will not thank you if all her wedding party don’t get your jokes, or are not acknowledged during your opening words. In this respect, it is often better to say a quick witty joke, or one liner to grab the audiences attention, making sure not to offend anyone… the following is a good humorous opening you could use for your speech:
“Hello Ladies and Gentlemen, I had asked for a microphone, but one wasn’t offered, so if you can’t hear me at the back, don’t worry too much, as the silence from those in the front row will assure you you’re not missing out on anything.”
Try and memorize the beginning. The impact of standing up, lifting your head and speaking to the audience will help make them feel immediately part of the wedding speech. Remember that your audience actually want to hear what you have to say. If you can make eye contact with them, then your message will be received a lot better.
The best way to lay out the body of your speech is by formulating a series of points that you would like to raise. The points should be organised so that related points follow one another so that each point builds upon the previous one. This will also give your speech a more logical progression.
You will only have time to cover two or three points maximum, so keep your stories small and straight to the point. Don’t get caught up on the detail of your stories. Set up the scene of your story, then give a sentence or two to it before tying it into the next part of your speech.
There should be a general direction in your speech, but you need not be too rigidly organized into points and transitions. Make the body of the speech a sequence of little build-ups to a climax or punch line. The trick is to try and keep momentum going with your speech. So do break down your body into one or two stories, and never deliver a monologue of past events as this will bore your audience to tears.
The Conclusion Once again a very simple task. This is your toast to the bide and groom. You should however have two or three different toasts to call upon as it is possible that someone else has already used your toast. And you want to end your speech on a personal and original note, so try to use a toast that hasn’t been used already.
Gareth Berry writes speeches for best men all over the world. Also an accomplished toastmaster and public speaker is currently using skills in this area to assist others with delivering memorable speeches. you can get a collection of his best mans speeches and speaking guides at www.classicspeeches.com
Tips to Speaking at a Wedding
1. - Your speech needs to have a logical order. Make sure you have your speech blueprint written down into sections under the following headings; Beginning; Middle; End.
2. Under each of these sections write a few ideas that you’d like to say. Some ideas about what to write could be;
a. what do you know about the groom? (things that make good stories),
b. little known stories about the groom,
c. their interests,
d. date of birth and
e. famous people that share the same birthday etc…
3. You will need to introduce yourself to the audience. Do you know them, or will they be mainly strangers? As most people may not know who you are, be sure to give an introduction that is funny, catches their attention, and depicts the relationship that you have with the groom. You may also like to say a few words thanking the people hosting the wedding here, but that is entirely up to you.
4. Write down all the points and stories in the body of the speech. I generally like to do this first. Remember, in a 10 minute speech, you’ll have time for two stories only. In a 15 minute speech, you’ll only be able to cover 3 points max… so make sure they are short, to the point, and entertaining anecdotes about the groom. It helps if they are little known points about the groom, that way you don’t bore the audience with stuff that they already know and take for granted about the groom.
5. For the closing, it’s hard to go wrong with a traditional toast or blessing for the couple. Make your toast loud impressive and short. Don’t forget to have a full glass around, and drink to your toast yourself. For a good collection of wedding toasts, go to www.classicspeeches.com
6. When giving the speech, talk to the whole audience. Life your head up, speak loud and clearly. Make sure everyone hears you and sees you and never speak to the floor. If you are addressing individual people like bridesmaids, it helps to talk directly to them in the first person. This will help to build trust and a relationship with the listeners. Use good vocal variety and pause for maximum impact for the speech. DO NOT use umms and ahhs, as they detract from your message.
7. Take your time speaking. You should have practiced your speech at least three times before the big day so you know the content and have the timing and pauses well rehearsed. This will also help your confidence with this public speaking engagement. It is common for people to speak too rapidly when nervous. Try to avoid this by consciously speaking in a calm, relaxed tone. Don’t be too quiet, especially if you don’t have a microphone.
8. At the very least, you must memorize the introduction and the toast. You don’t want to spoil a good speech by reading a paper from beginning to end. You can have the structure on a note card and practice delivering the speech a few times in front of a mirror. And most of all… ENJOY IT!!!
